Zuul! Jim Varney Douglas Seale Oliver Clark (1988) Nitwit Ernest (Jim Varney) bails out Santa Claus (Douglas Seale) who is in Florida on a deadline to recruit a new Santa (Oliver Clark). I’m Santa Claus. When they get to their destination, Santa possesses no legal currency (only play money), so in his giving Christmas spirit, Ernest lets him ride for free. (Cut to a large cargo box moving side to side on its own, and Chuck turns around to see it, then turns back to the camera to shift his eyes left and right repeatedly; we hear a silly sound coming from the eye shifting). Thank you, Jim Varney. NC: (looks repulsed at the sight of Auntie Nelda) It looks like a bullfrog’s ass that got run over, stretched out, run over again and then inflated! A holiday flick called “Christmas Sleigh.”, NC: Hey, it’s that guy from “No Reservations.” (An image of Anthony Bourdain appears next to him camera right), Marty Brock (he's actually played by Robert Lesser): Blake Farrell had the lead. Mary: (to Santa) By the way, we haven’t been fully introduced. NC (voiceover): (as a game announcer) Hey! Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. *, *(NOTE: This line has subsequently been removed by NC shortly after this episode's original airing). NC: No, no, no. (Cut to Ernest entering the house with the tree and Harmony Starr behind him; from this point onward, we see everything from Verne’s point of view as the camera follows the action). Ernest was already well established via a slew of commercials and a Saturday morning TV show when he rolled into Orlando to shoot his second feature film, 1988's Ernest Saves Christmas… NC (voiceover): So Ernest P. Worrell drives Santa Claus around in a cab…. NC (voiceover): I mean it. Harmony Starr: Please don’t let him get me, OK? Movie Genre: Comedy. It’s kind of misleading. (“wha-whas”) Pictorial evidence? Ernest also saves Santa from being in jail. I want to hear that line just before an action movie starts. NC (voiceover): (Normal) So Ernest gets out the sleigh and they go riding into the night. We’ll make that plane. (A fake “L.A. Merry Christmas, everybody. If he hadn’t believed and wanted to return Santa’s sack, Santa would have stayed in jail and the magic would not have passed on to Joe. You should know what you're getting into by this point. (An explosion is heard off screen as NC reacts in surprise and looks camera right). Ernest Saves Christmas. (Presses his lips together with his hands to make a puckered face) Oozing through the vent covers. NC: (as the officer, examining a sheet of paper) Apparently, he also has acid for blood. (Santa hits the movie director in the face with his fist). NC (voiceover): (as Santa) I broke their merry little thumbs and shoved them down the yuletide elevator shaft. I’ve told everybody. Your name was originally on a list with several hundred others. Give the gift of Amazon for any occasion. This was the first major feature production filmed almost entirely in Orlando, Florida, at the then-unfinished Disney-MGM Studios. NC (voiceover): (as Santa) Don’t make me add you two to my list. What have I done, Santa?! (Ernest mugs the camera with a chuckle to himself; 25 Mugging Points appear below him) Crazy! I guess I am, again. It got cancelled three weeks before and Joe must settle for a new job reading stories to children. Santa: Yes, you do. A 1988 film starring Jim Varney as his signature character, Ernest P. Worrell. NC (voiceover): So Joe agrees to talk to Santa while the airport guys call Animal Control to help with Santa’s cargo. Review by Carlos Ibarra ★★★ It's an Ernest movie. All the while, Joe is ready to sign a deal with the Hollywood people. NC (voiceover): Uhm…yeah. $4.99: $2.26: DVD September 7, 2004 "Please retry" — 1 — — — Watch Instantly with: Rent Buy Ernest Saves Christmas : $3.99: $14.99: Enhance your purchase Available at a lower price from other sellers that may not offer free Prime shipping. And there are many scenes of Ernest injuring himself. Chuck: We’ve been, uh, holding these fleabags for a fella named Elmes. NC (voiceover): (as Santa) You have made a powerful enemy today, son. (He whips out his cell phone, dials a number and waits a few second before a voice speaks up on the other end. (He opens the bag and a bright line shines on his face). (A reindeer pokes its head out from the back of the truck before we cut to Ernest snapping his fingers, getting an idea) I’ve got it! NC: How come nobody tells me these things? NC: So that was “Ernest Saves Christmas.” It’s stupid, it’s cheesy, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense…and I watch it every year. Know what I mean? Ernest: Oh, don’t worry, Mister. It’s safe. NC: (as Santa) Thank you, Ernest. Joe hosted a children's program named Uncle Joey's Treehous… NC (voiceover): (as Santa) You sit on the throne of lies! Santa: Oh, yes, it’s not as bright at night. (Cut back to Ernest driving his taxi frantically, and the same video game screen from before appears again). (We hear creepy music as Harmony looks at Ernest, then Santa Claus). NC: (as the producer, talking snobbish) We are Hollywood producers. The two dock workers argue over the shipping papers and the contents of the crates. Ernest Saves Christmas. I remember it so you don’t have to. Pamela decides to return home. Santa: Oh, this is Ernest. NC (voiceover): (as Santa) So I can tap that, then? Joe: (brings out a gun in preparation to shoot the monster) Die! The question is “How did you find my house?”. (The passenger slides around in the back seat until he falls out of the car) Oh, no! Receptionist: I’m sure he didn’t know you were coming. NC (voiceover): (as the customs officer) Hey, it’s Vanessa, thank you. Elf #1: (rides in the back of the sleigh) Bogey at 9:00! Rrawr! (Ernest mugs for the camera again, and mugging points appear below him, going up every 5 points until it reaches 25) Way to go! Lie Detector here can’t seem to figure it out until later. Joe: Thanks. watched. They made their first appearance in the television series Hey Vern, It's Ernest!, which was in production at the same time as this film. Added by Ryan Jacobson. Ernest: This is Harmony. NC (voiceover): Meanwhile, we cut to these two guys who are looking after Santa’s cargo at the airport. My name is Mary Morrissey. Having trouble controlling it at first, the reindeer and the sleigh fly all over the sky. Directed by John R. Cherry III. Ernest poses as an employee of the governor with Harmony as the governor's niece, and the two help Santa escape from jail by convincing the police chief that Santa must be taken to an insane asylum. NC (voiceover): Yeah, when does Verne drop the camera and start pummeling the hell out of Ernest, anyway? At a meeting, Joe sees the reindeer and sleigh flying and it convinces him that everything Santa told him is real. NC: How ironic! Ernest Saves Christmas is a must-see for me every Christmas season. Ernest Saves Christmas is the third film to feature Varney's character Ernest P. Worrell, and chronicles Ernest's attempt to help find a replacement for an aging Santa Claus. Ernest Saves Christmas is a 1988 American Christmas comedy film directed by John R. Cherry III and starring Jim Varney. NC (voiceover): So Ernest and the ‘80s chick say they’re from the governor’s office and try to break Santa out. NC (voiceover): So Ernest disguises himself to find out where Joe is and—(Ernest appears as old Auntie Nelda) OH, SWEET GOD! It has probably one of the best Santa Clauses of all time. Does he just always have a green dress and pearls in the back of his car? Have a wonderful holiday and…wait a minute. Synopsis A Holiday Comedy Unlike Any Other! (A green slimy monster breaks down the door to a log cabin set). My magic sack of toys? NC: Hello, I’m the Nostalgia Critic. You have only 30 seconds to get your passenger on the plane to mime school. (Clips from Ernest’s commercials are shown), NC: (as Ernest, pulling out a Cody Penguin (from the movie "Surf’s Up" stuffed plush) And also don’t forget to buy Citizen Penguin, the only penguin that has the voice of Orson Welles. They made their first appearance in the television series Hey Vern, It's Ernest!, which was in production at the same time as this film. 1988 Directed by John R. Cherry III. NC (voiceover): Even Joe sees Santa’s sleigh, decides to screw Hollywood and go be Jolly Old Saint Nick. NC (voiceover): But even he falls victim to some lame setups, like count how many Santa puns there are here. Director: John Cherry. (Cut to Ernest struggling to pull on a cord that he pulled out from the living room wall, and as he does so, the dining room chandelier goes up and down). (He briefly dances to the “Put the cookie down” remix before getting up to leave). Don't expect a sophisticated plot, and a superlative script. What have I done to deserve such torture?! Ernest and the helpers arrive at the museum at 6:58. (Ernest proceeds to mug the camera, and mugging points appear at the bottom of the screen, going up every 5 points, reaching to 100 points). With Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark, Noelle Parker. Air Traffic Control. Marty presses Joe to quit his children's job and instead land a part in a horror film titled Christmas Slay, about an alien which terrorizes children on Christmas Eve, a concept that offends Santa so deeply he punches the director. They made their first appearance in the television series Hey Vern, It's Ernest!, which was in production at the same time as this film. He’s mostly just irritatingly annoying, but still, after a whopping 13 movies spread out between theatrical, TV and VHS releases, it’s pretty hard not to look at them. Voila! Marty Brock: Excuse me, Mr. Santos. Ernest meets Santa's elves at the airport and they retrieve the reindeer from the dock workers and Santa's sleigh from the holding dock. We are the Gods! Format: DVD. Santa: The name is (footage is slowed down, and his voice sounds deeper as the camera does a close-up on his face) Santa Claus. Sign In. (He holds up the sack) I got your sack. When Santa Claus decides to retire and pass on his magic bag of Christmas surprises to a new Saint Nick, he enlists the aid of a hilarious assortment of characters. View ★★★ Rewatched by Carlos Ibarra 22 Dec, 2020. (Santa looks at him stunned) No, thanks. NC: (as the Hollywood Producer, snorting through his nose and talking snobbish) Problems? NC: Wow, I think the movie just rejected him. Enjoy a few of my favorite scenes in fond memory of Jim Varney, who passed away at age 50. NC: But here’s my question to all these movies where they try to prove Santa doesn’t exist. NC (voiceover): So, without checking their ID, they walk into the cell and say they’re taking Santa to a mental hospital. NC (voiceover): So Ernest finds out where Joe is as he puts on yet another disguise to get past studio security. Ernest: (brings in the tree to a spot in the living room) As the tree is bent, so grows the tree. NC: (as Harmony) And why I look like a female Ralph Macchio. (“Asian Points” appear at the bottom, and it goes up to 25 points) Now, finish off with some more mugging! (sighs) Well, it’s after Christmas again, and once again, I can’t help but feel the post-Christmas blues. I guess we’ll have to find another camera to make faces into, preferably wide-angle lens. It's an Ernest movie. Ernest: It’s time to put fuel on the tank and rubber on the road; and reunite old Father Christmas, a close, personal friend of mine with his magic sack. Officer #1: It would be a lot better if you’d give me your real name. Passenger: Hey, buddy, hurry up! Santa: Well, it comes with the job. NC (voiceover): So the ‘80s chick replaces Santa’s bag with a bag of feathers and Mr. For what, you may ask? That’d be bullshit! NC (voiceover): (as Santa) Adolf Hitler—! This is a terrific, funny, and fun film with an excellent score by Mark Snow. No need to register, buy now! NC (voiceover): (as a game announcer) Don’t forget to hit the Asians! What are these problems that you speak of? NC: That’s what I thought. "Orlando Looking Good As 'Ernest' Hits Screens", "Not Even Christmas Can the Save New 'Ernest, "Ernest Saves The Day When Santa Needs Help", Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, Knowhutimean? Officer #2: I never saw anything like this before. May we continue, please? Joe: (after shaking hands with Santa at the museum and his wardrobe changes to the familiar Santa Claus wardrobe) How do I look? Subscribe. Joe: And what’s this supposed to be now? Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. The crates are revealed to contain flying reindeer. It can’t be done that way. NC (voiceover): (Normal) Meanwhile, some more visitors come in to help Santa out. Ernest Saves Christmas is a 1988 American Christmas comedy film directed by John R. Cherry III and starring Jim Varney. Well, everything. He tries to get the bag back to him at the Children’s Museum. 86min. Resume. NC: (as Ernest) What’s that, Verne? It’s another morning to wake up a 16-year-old girl on that couch. more. (Cut to Ernest driving a taxi with a passenger in the back), Ernest: (sings) Oh, Christmas Tree / Oh, Christmas Tree…. Ernest: (speaks with his face pressed against the glass window) Are you in there? Expect a harmless and fun Christmas comedy, that way you are in for a good time. Santa: My goodness! NC (voiceover): (as Santa) I was also called “Zindar, Destroyer of Worlds,” but that’s another time. When Santa Claus decides to retire and pass on his magic bag of Christmas surprises to a new St. Nick, he enlists the aid of a hilarious assortment of characters, including that lovable know-it-all Ernest P. Worrell (Emmy Award-winning comedian Jim Varney)! NC: Yeah, I guess I'd hit him if he worked for Uwe Boll, too. Excuse me. After my annual screening this year, I decided to research and share some facts about the movie. They even let Ernest ride the sleigh one more time. Officer #1: You and me got some paperwork to do. (The two employees walk away, still looking up surprised to see the reindeer; cut to Chuck looking up and shifting his eyes back and forth, with a silly noise accompanying the shifting). I mean, the credits say a lot about the film. Rent. Watch for FREE. http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-ernest-saves-christmas/, http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-real-thoughts-on-the-ernest-movies/, one of the best Santa Clauses of all time, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch, The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs, Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells, New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings, Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments, Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. The new Santa takes off at 7 pm to deliver the gifts. Officer #2: (to another officer, looking at a piece of paper) Hey, look at this. That a big difference from Home Alone 3, which was trying to be a quality sequel. NC (voiceover): So Santa explains why it’s so important to find Joe and pass the torch onto him. Customs Officer: (shrugs his shoulders) Sure. The new Santa uses his new magic to make it snow in Orlando. (Two little people (Santa’s elves) walk in disguised with grey trench coats, sunglasses and fedora hats on), Lollipop Guild (from “The Wizard of Oz”): (audio) We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild…, (Cut to Ernest walking in the cargo hold area and looks up to see the reindeer walking on the ceiling). Rent/Buy. Santa: But now, I’m sure I have the right man for the job. Joe: (shakes hands with Santa) Hello, uh…do I know you? NC (voiceover): (as Santa) Wazzup, my n****s? The only way to restore its full strength is to pass it on to someone else which is why he must find Joe and make him the new Santa Claus by 7 pm. Do you love it? It ain’t much, but you can’t do it. Manufacturer Part Number: D26894D. Slowly, for one reason or another, the other names were eliminated. Ernest (Auntie Nelda): Just tell me where he is. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Ernest Saves Christmas. (A magical blaze comes from the sleigh as it soars into the sky; intercut with footage of “Back to the Future” with the Delorean’s fiery trail going past Marty and Doc Brown). Prince of Egypt, The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed, Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters. Because they are short on time, Ernest decides to fly the sleigh to the children's museum, much to the helpers' objection. He keeps me locked up in the basement where there’s rats and…. Ernest Saves Christmas is a 1988 American Christmas comedy film directed by John R. Cherry III and starring Jim Varney. Review by Ryan Jacobson. This is the first film to feature Gailard Sartain's character, Chuck along with Bill Byrge as his brother, Bobby. View. I mean, is he just filming everything that Ernest is doing right now? Ernest gets himself recruited to help Santa on Christmas Eve in this festive comedy. Uh, what job? Exterior scenes set at the house of Ernest's friend Vern were filmed at a house located on Residential Street at the park, and which was part of the Studio Backlot Tour until it was demolished in 2002. Harmony: Everybody thinks I’m really young, you know, but I’m not. Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? 95 mins More details at IMDb TMDb ... and Ernest delivers the goods. NC: NOPE! Earnest Saves christmas shoudl not be on that list. Santa: Yes, I’m used to a colder climate myself. (Cut to Santa and a man walking together though an airport), (The countdown of “Santa Puns” appears at the bottom of the screen, starting with “1”). (chuckles). The film does have a sweet message to it, and reminds us all of the true spirit of Christmas. I guess he sort of adopted this ‘80s chick as well. NC (voiceover): Ernest, played by the late Jim Varney, is one of those movie characters that somehow I overlooked, and granted, he’s not a terrible character. (He empties out the sack) Look, it’s feathers! Better go faster! A man claiming to be Santa Claus arrives in Orlando, Florida, where Ernest P. Worrell is working as a taxicab driver. (The tree ends up getting blocked by furnishings in the entry hall as Verne backs up) She’s been having a tough time, so I’m helping her out. And really, if Ernest hadn’t decided to be a good guy and give Santa the free ride, Christmas would have been ruined. You’re not some kind of big star, you know. NC: Wow, the effects of “Avatar” aren’t as good as I thought they’d be. We’re not going back to that! NOPE! Call me! (Intercut with footage from “Superman 1” with Superman flying around the world at super speed and Ernest flying the sleigh in the opposite direction; Cut to a fake animation of the two colliding, causing an explosion above the earth). Harmony Starr: Thanks. Ernest and Harmony (whose real name is later revealed by Santa to be Pamela Trenton) discover the magic power of Santa's sack, and Pamela starts to abuse it. Galadriel (from “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring”): (narrates for the opening that starts in black) The world is changed. I’m 22. NC (voiceover): (as Santa) Well, that’s just meta. This is the first film to feature Gailard Sartain's character, Chuck along with Bill Byrge as his brother, Bobby. Marty Brock: Uh, what about now, Mr. Santos? NC: (laughs) I love the way he says that line! NC (voiceover): Where does he get these outfits, anyway? View. (He notices Joe’s now-missing beard) What did you do to yourself? Ernest helps Santa Claus as he searches for his successor. The Grinch vs. In it, Ernest has to save Christmas by helping Santa Claus, who has been incarcerated after trying to track down a man who has been chosen to be the next Santa. Merry Christmas. I’ve seen things in there that’ll make you turn White Christmas. (A pancake lands near Harmony, and we cut to Ernest flipping pancakes). (He puckers his lips). So I decided to put it up myself! I feel it in the water. Or I’m afraid the magic of Christmas, the joys and the feelings, will be gone forever. "All I Want" by The Offspring is played in the background. Play. Santa: I’ve got to make him the next Santa Claus before 7:00 tonight. Elf #1: (walks in with the other elf up to the desk) Helper Elves. Zuul (dubbed by NC): Zuul, motherfucker! Hollywood Producer: Who do you think you are? Ernest Saves Christmas is a very underrated Christmas holiday flick. Chuck: (misreads the “v” in “Elves” as “m”) What is that, an “M”? What more do you want from a Christmas movie? Image:Ernest Saves Christmas.jpg is being used on this article. NC (voiceover): So Ernest goes back to the car and decides he wants to take a look into Santa’s bag. Now, I have to admit, this is actually kind of a nice opening, but seriously, would anyone connect this to an Ernest movie? Both Elves: (take off their hats to reveal their pointed ears) Ta-da! Read, review and discuss the entire Ernest Saves Christmas movie script by B. Kline on Scripts.com Talk about…. NC (voiceover): But sadly, admitting his true identity doesn’t work out quite well. Ernest: (speaks with his face pressed against a glass window) Santa! Next month is January. I’ve seen things in there that’ll make you turn White Christmas. I’m usually here at night. Harmony: I just—I got to thinking about you and Ernest. All passengers return to your seats! NC (voiceover): (as Santa) Time to open a can. The hand of fate is reaching out to you. Add a new quote. 1988/color/95 min/PG/fullscreen.Ernest Saves Christmas (DVD) Warning: None. NC (voiceover): So because of his popularity, they finally gave him a movie called “Ernest Goes to Camp.” (Beat) It was stupid, but not Christmas-oriented, so instead, we’re gonna take a look at the sequel “Ernest Saves Christmas.”. NC (voiceover): (as Ernest) Oh, no. (sarcastically laughs) Ah-HA! A man who claims to be Santa Claus (Douglas Seale) arrives at the Orlando International Airport on December 23. Ernest helps in getting everyone just where they need to be in order for the transition of the new Santa to take place. Buy. Watch for FREE. The old Santa resumes his former identity, Seth Applegate, and spends Christmas Eve with an elderly museum employee named Mary Morrissey. Ernest Saves Christmas FILMING LOCATIONS 28 year later! Santa later tracks down Joe at his home. NC (voiceover): (as Ernest) Let’s sell the reindeer for another truck! You blew up the…Santa Pun-o-meter. Pamela has called her mother and has decided to come home. Marty Brock: I’m Marty Brock. Know what I mean? NC (voiceover): But actually, the movie has another thing going for it. NC (voiceover): (as voices inside the bag) Help! Thanks for watching all these December episodes. Male Employee: Yeah. Ernest later discovers that Santa left his magic sack in the taxicab, and Ernest begins a quest to find the old man and return it to him. (Santa is shoved aside by Marty Brock, Joe’s talent agent), Marty Brock: This is it, Joe. The late, great Jim Varney was a tremendous talent, with a rubbery flexibility and elastic expressions that rivaled those of Jim Carrey and up to his untimely death in 2000, he was an eternally underrated comedic presence. So, Mr. Santos, do you live around here? If an old man ever shouts in the middle of a conversation “My sack!”, it’s probably best just to run away. (Cut to Verne (from his point of view) opening the door). Sign In. NC: It almost sounds like a Schwarzenegger line or a Stallone line, doesn’t it? Why do I have one of those? It’s just so badass! He picks up Santa, who tells Ernest that he is on his way to inform a local celebrity named Joe Carruthers that he has been chosen to be the new Santa Claus. Santa: Why, no. I mean, all this time waiting for Santa to bring me something wonderful and fantastic, these really great presents, and what does he bring me? NC: You missed, but you can still get Jack Skellington! NC (voiceover): After that, we cut to some chick who got lost in the ‘80s as she tries to run away from paying a restaurant bill, and gets into Ernest’s cab. Ho’” appears onscreen). Brand: Disney. Marty Brock: I want you to tint your hair and lose the beard. Ernest: (to Harmony, who is now awake) One Christmas Eve, I was lying in bed. Reviews of Ernest Saves Christmas ... and Ernest delivers the goods. NC (voiceover): So he drops Santa off at the Children’s Museum as he goes in to find a man named Joe Carruthers (NC speaks the last name incorrectly as “Struthers” here), who he’s hoping will take over the role as Santa for him. You know (Vern,) watching these Ernest movies as an adult, it's not quite the same effect as viewing them through the eyes of a child. You know what that means! (“wha-whas”) Cool! Santa begins to worry when he discovers his sack is missing, and becomes more discouraged because of his increasing forgetfulness, a result of being 151 years old. That’s what most people say when they watch “No Reservations.”. Joe: Job? Ernest: (looks back to see a military jet nearby) Uh-oh! 7 quotes. So he realizes he left his bag of toys to Ernest’s cab. NC (voiceover): So he walks in while Joe is busy shooting a Christmas movie. The Movie: (voice on the other end) This is the movie. NC (voiceover): ...as they make some playful chitchat. Years of inconclusive research about what killed the dinosaurs, and all this time, the answer was in the head of a bad children’s puppeteer? (Cut to him packing the taxi’s trunk and then driving off). Scenes that take place at the movie studio and its hallways were shot at the facilities of the local FOX affiliate WOFL, which in the mid-1980s had its own custom promo featuring the Ernest character. Thank you, Jim Varney. Hollywood Producer: These reflective figures we discussed? NC: (as the elves) We’re here to shoot a David Lynch film? Finally, the Ernest Saves Christmas script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Jim Varney movie. Ernest Saves Christmas. Why won’t you help me find my sack? Santa explains to Ernest and Harmony that he was handed down the job of Santa Claus in 1889 and has enjoyed it ever since, but the magic grows weaker over time. However, on Christmas Eve, her conscience prevails, and she rushes back to find Ernest and Santa and return the sack. I’m Joe’s agent. And I thought I heard a noise in the heat ducts. NC (voiceover): Wait a minute, WHAT?! This is a terrific, funny, and fun film with an excellent score by Mark Snow. (Cut to Santa at a police station and being questioned by an officer). It holds a 36% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. ), NC (voiceover): (speaks as a game announcer) Hey! “Is this the way the way government really works?” They bought it! Your next passenger should probably be a supporting character. The dock workers seek help from the local animal control services only to be told that there is nothing animal control can do to help when they arrive and are shocked to see the reindeer walking on the ceiling of the warehouse. Ernest: (dressed as a dirty man, posing as The Snake Guy, referring to some snakes he claims to bring into the studio) When they get knotted up on you like that, they get real crazy. (He laughs to himself) Thrill drive! (Cut to Santa put in his cell with other inmates). (Cut to a clip from “The Nightmare Before Christmas” with a military gun barrel shooting at Jack Skellington’s sleigh), Jack Skellington: Merry Christmas to all…, (Cut back to NC looking camera left to follow the path of the falling sleigh), Jack Skellington: (audio) ...and to all a good—! NC: Oh, great! At the last minute, he goes skiing, falls flat on his puss, and wrecks up a 5-grand nose job. Chef Gormaanda: Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir, WHAA! Watch. Ernest: (to Chuck) I’ve got to have those reindeer at the Children’s Museum, like five minutes ago. (Cut to a close-up on Santa’s fingerprints, each of them having snowflakes in the center). With Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark, Noelle Parker. You gotta get your comic foil to the airport in under five crazy minutes! NC: (as Chuck) That’s my gimmick, folks: the eyes. NC (voiceover): OK, he doesn’t see that, but he does realize that the guy really is Santa Claus. 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